Rant before October

published at

I don't know who will listen to this, I feel like I have nobody to tell this rant, that's why it's here, on my lovely blog.

I have so many various feelings lately, anger; sadness, despair, fear, anything.

I don't know if the cause is life or work, feeling stressed & depressed at the same time is really weird and exhausting.

And I don't know, I just want to write. This blog is the only medium that will listen to me when everyone else is not—as far as I can tell.

I'm trying my hardest not to say any harsh words here, so let's just make this a monologue, not a rant.

I hate this kind of situation, feeling lonely; imprisoned, in a dark room on a dark night.

Sometimes my brain is always wondering—for all that I've done—am I too selfish to everyone or even to myself?

But, given that almost all sentences start with I, I'm pretty sure I already know the answer.

Everything is always about me. Me. Me. Me.

Fuck September, I wish October would be better.

I have no story to tell here.

I couldn't even write the next sentence, my brain seemed to stop working; my chest feels tight, and my eyes felt like something was down.